Confessions
by LeticiaVN
Summary: Lamb never looked for Veronica's rapist and that's why. Spoilers s01 and 02.


**Confessions**

_Lamb never looked for Veronica's rapist and that's why.  
Spoilers season 01 and 02_

* * *

Veronica did not expect to meet him there: Don Lamb. Not in a bar inside her college, in social clothes, drinking beer and smiling at her as she entered the bar, almost as he was waiting for her to come in.

– Are you following me, Lamb? – Veronica was clearly being ironic, she couldn't deny she loved messing with him whenever she could – I may call the Sheriff to arrest you.

– Trust me, Veronica, was a long shot hoping you'd come here today. Why don't you grab a beer and be social for a minute?

– Are you trying to bust me? You know pretty well I still can't drink legally and you won't get to bust me so easily.

– You didn't see? Tonight I'm not the sheriff, I'm not arresting anybody – Lamb signed to the bartender for another beer, pointing to Veronica, but she denied.

– I don't like drinking beer.

– What would you like then? Whisky, special drinks, maybe some _tequila_? Ask anything, I'll buy.

– Who are you? What you done with dear, old Lamb? – Veronica thought of a million reasons why he'd be offering her kindness, each one terrified her more – more likely to ask you what do you want?

The bartender put a red drink in front of Veronica, telling them it was his own mix and to give it a try, since they weren't getting to any decision. Lamb raised his shoulders, as if to tell her he wasn't going to argue anymore.

– I've learned a long time ago not to drink glasses people offer me – it was her last excuse to dump Lamb there and get to business, since she was there to watch a Pi Sigma boy, a potential suspect to her rapist mystery.

– C'mon, Mars, nothing's going to happen here. They are offering you a drink because it is a _bar_.

– Ok. I'll accept that, but I don't have much time. I have a rapist to catch, which you should be looking for too – Veronica took one sip of her drink, it was stronger than she'd like – what do you wanna talk about?

Lamb cleared his throat before speaking.

– Veronica… do you… – there was so much stuck in his throat, he didn't know how to begin or if he was brave enough to even start talking about what he came to talk about. That's why he decided not to say anything right away, he decided that was a terrible timing – how's college?

– Oh, Lamb, get to the point already. 'Foreplays are not your thing.

Lamb shivered at her words.

– Let's get a table? Here there's too much… public – he looked to both sides before catching Veronica's suspicious stare. Lamb wanted privacy with her. Why? She dropped her ironic attitude up to what it seemed to be a serious situation, so she just nodded.

As they both sat on the farthest table, where not even lights reached, Veronica adjusted her intense stare to dislocate Lamb.

– Veronica, tell me how many investigations you've been in that you couldn't solve?

– None, that I recall.

– That's what I thought – he laughed, more to himself than out loud – so you found out who… raped you, uh?

Veronica moved uncomfortably. Standing in front of her was the man who denied her help, laughed at her when she found herself on the bottom; this man was asking her if she did his job, but worse, he was admitting his lack of professionalism when he denied this fragile girl justice and dignity.

– I ended up to find Cassidy Casablanca had a really great time with me in that party – there was a pitch of resentment in her voice – but I don't think it matters now. He's dead.

– You think _Cassidy_ raped you?

– He confessed how he did it before dying.

– Well, he was lying. Maybe he was trying to brag, taking you out of yourself, it wouldn't be the first lie he got to tell.

– And how exactly you know that?

– I was there that day. I was in that party.

– You what?! Why didn't you say something?! Oh, right, you wanted nothing to do with my case. I can't believe you.

She was about to get up, but Lamb put his hand on hers and she immediately settled, she wanted to hear what he had to say about that day. If he knew Cassidy Casablanca didn't do it, he could have something else to say.

– I saw Dick Casablanca and his friend leaving the room you were and I told them to get the hell out of there. Less than 30 seconds after, I broke into the room, Cassidy was half way to you then I told him to leave. He never get to even touch you.

Veronica was speechless. Beaver didn't rape her, she felt a moment of relieve before remembering she got Chlamydia from him. How did she get Chlamydia if Cassidy wasn't able to get his pants down?

– Are you sure? He could've come back after, I mean, that's the only way I could have got…

– Chlamydia? I'm sure he didn't come back afterwards.

– So how…?

– Veronica, back 2004 _I_ was treated for Chlamydia.

Realization set in her mind, but she had no reaction in the store for this moment. Was Lamb really admitting _he_ raped her? Her jaw dropped, but she was too paralyzed to get up and leave.

– Before Lily was killed, when I was just another guy working beside your dad, I watched you. All the times when you'd come by his office, spend the day sometimes, made me create this feeling… I became obsessed with you, deeply, madly. But I wasn't proud of it, neither thought one day I would have the chance… – his voice died for a while, watching her face in disbelieve – but then your father had the bad luck to bet on Kane and get fired…

Lamb took his beer and drank it, nervous, guilty.

–… I can't say I was sad by your father. He getting fired, you losing popularity, right after losing your boyfriend and friends and some pride meant you'd get vulnerable and I could get a chance with you. My thought was… if you were down, as down as you could get, I could take advantage of you, I could get to 3rd base with you and there would be no problem – he could see her face getting more and more twisted of disgust – this sweet taste was the worst thing that could've happened, because if before I was obsessed with you, imagine after my imagination's door was opened? I had fantasies about you, wild dreams… There were 3 days before I knew I was gonna be nominated the new Sheriff. I saw my every fantasy with you going down the hill. Cops can do their amount of shit without anyone noticing, but sheriffs… All the eyes would be pointing to me, especially then when the last one was kicked out that way, I couldn't manage to score a high school girl and pass not noticed. Veronica, I _went mad_, now, remembering how bad I got, I feel scared. I trashed my room, I… _cried.  
_  
– You want me to feel sorry for you? – Veronica finally had the courage to speak – poor, dear Lamb wanted to fuck a high school girl but his dream was ruined because he'd lose his job? Nothing to do with the fact she was crashed by the time? Is that it? – she took a moment, she told herself she couldn't lose it – I'm tired of your self-pity story, Lamb. Did you or didn't you rape me that day?!

Though her last sentence was louder than it should, no one seemed to hear their conversation. People were really into their own talks and that spot they were had heard all kinds of fight before, it got deaf.

– The day you were raped I told myself it would be my last day partying, and then I would become a respected sheriff, so it was also my last chance with you… I busted some teens with GHB and worked my magic to make sure you would drink the specials I made for you. I got you drugged that night until you fall barely conscious by the pool. I waited 1 minute or so and I was late already, someone got you first and you weren't there anymore. I started to run, looking for you until I met you and those boys there. When I opened the door and told Casablanca to leave, I stayed there, admiring you.

– You're sick. You did rape me! And you were the sheriff! How could you?!

– Veronica, I was dripping in pain from excitement, lust. When I saw you there in a bed, no one to stop me…

– Not your dignity, your principles.

– Fuck, I wanted to have sex with _Veronica Mars,_ not with your body. I wanted you to be there, reacting under my body, screaming my name, it was only a delusion the moment I had with you, as much as I tried to enjoy, turn your head to me, put your hair beside so I could see your face, it wasn't what I hoped it would be.

– God damn, I'm sorry, sheriff, if my rape wasn't much of a joy to you, if taking my virginity away wasn't a pleasure for you, but I… – Veronica was about to cry, however he was the last person she wanted to see her tears – I'm going out of here – she got up, ready to go, but she felt hands on her arms – do you wanna risk round 2, this time you'll get to see my _reactions_, is that it?

– I just want you to listen.

– Why? Why do you think I would want to listen how you did it?

– Because I want to breathe the air again, knowing there's nothing I'm keeping from you. I may have not been arrested by doing what I did, but god knows how I've been torturing myself with these thoughts, thinking you knew all about it for sometimes and then the other way around. Sit down, if you have any question about what happened, ask me, because from tomorrow on, I won't be touching the subject, it will be as if I never did anything.

– There must be someone who'd recognize you from the party, though, who could testify against you in a court.

– Not there. I wasn't famous yet, I mean, people didn't know me as the sheriff yet and those kids weren't aware of the face of the new sheriff either, which of those do you think read newspaper? And in social clothes… Not even your boyfriend would recognize me. Maybe there were 2 boys who might have known who I was: Cassidy, but he's dead. Duncan, thanks to you, is missing.

– Wait, Duncan?

– When I was leaving the room, I saw him in the corridor. The party was pretty much over already.

– Over? Then, was he drunk?

– C'mon, Veronica, when the party is that over, drunks are certainly sleeping already or recovering already.

– So he wasn't drunk?! Are you sure Duncan Kane wasn't drunk when you left?

– Pretty sure. Why?

– He told me he was drunk and… why couldn't you just leave it alone, uh?! I was fine without knowing what went on that night, I found closure, peace. And now you bring it back and… – she breathed deeper – and it hurts so much.

– I'm really sorry, Veronica. When I see it now I think… if I only have waited. I waited so long for you, I could have waited until you were 18, until I could legally ask you out… and when you showed up the next day, it hurt what I had to do, my heart was broken too.

– Lamb, not in a million years I would've accepted going out with you. Not even if you put yourself on your knees and offered me the more expensive jewelry of the world. Don't think you'll be getting out of this because I'll put you behind bars for what you did to me. I'll get you back worse, write that down. And you know I can – Veronica gave him her back, fists ready to punch whoever crossed her way.

– I'm not gonna run for sheriff this year, your father is the right person for the job, better than I'll ever be, you know?

– You're damn right. And don't you dare approaching me ever again, I'll have my stun gun on my hands in a sec – she marched out of his sight before he processed what he finally did. This memory of her, leaving him there would haunt him on his nightmares from now on, he was sure of it. But he couldn't help himself to whisper to the ghost of her.

– I'm sorry, Veronica, for everything I did. But I'm still in love with you.

* * *

**Watching the show I never believed Beaver was the one to rape Veronica, on the other hand, I always found suspicious that Lamb simply ignored Veronica when she told him she was raped. I know this version is kind of weird, but that's what I thought it happened.**


End file.
